Chocolate Milk, Cheese Puffs and Amphetamines
by HeroxPartnerfan96
Summary: Wheels and the Legman are on the road to find Hayley and Jeff with Klaus in tow. However, a stop at a gas station ends up turning the drive into complete chaos. A novelization of my favorite moment from the 100th episode.


**Chocolate Milk, Cheese Puffs and Amphetamines**

It was safe to say that this was going to be a long drive; along with the rest of the town, Steve, Roger and Klaus, with the former two under their mystery aliases Wheel and the Legman, were on the road to find Harley and Jeff and stop them from getting married. They had stopped at a gas station to refill the car and Roger had gone into the convenience store to grab a few things, while Steve was sitting in the front passenger seat since the wheelchair Steve was using was in the back seat, with Klaus on the front dashboard as they were waiting for Roger to come back. As they were waiting for Roger, Klaus couldn't help himself expressing his enthusiasm about what was going on.

"Finding Hayley for the reward money; now that's a real case!" Klaus commented with a smile of excitement on his face; this was the first time he was accompanying Steve and Roget during one of their cases, and it was safe to say that he was enjoying every moment of it. Just then, the two heard the passenger door open and they turned their attention to notice Roger come back into the car before closing the door behind him, and he was carrying a small brown bag in his hands.

"All right, I got everything we need." Roger stated. He then reached into the bag to start pulling out the things he had brought, which consisted of a carton of chocolate, a packet of cheese puffs and a small bottle that seemed to contain some kind of drug. "Chocolate milk, cheese puffs and some Turkish amphetamines I scored in the bathroom." Roger said, as he handed the chocolate milk carton to Steve, placed the cheese puffs packet on the front dashboard next to Klaus's bowl and held up the bottle of amphetamines for the two to see. Naturally, it didn't take Steve long to show an expression of concern as Roger started to unscrew the lid from the bottle.

"Woah, woah, Legs. Are you sure that's a good idea?" Steve asked; since he knew how often Roger seemed to be into this kind of stuff, he wasn't feeling too confident about how Roger would be able to handle taking this while he was also behind the wheel. However, Roger didn't seem too fazed as he simply showed a confident smile.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." Roger replied. With this, he raised the squeezer towards his left eye and squeezed down on it, allowing the liquid to shoot through his eye socket and into his system. After a few moments, he blinked once before turning his head back down to Steve who was watching in concern; he still felt okay after that small dosage. "See? Everything in moderation. Now I'm gonna have five cheese puffs, no more." Roger said. With this, he reached forward to grab the packet of cheese puffs to open it up. Steve then felt like he could relax; with the way things were going, it seemed that everything was under control.

Unfortunately, later down the road, things were proving to be anything but under control. Roger had overdosed on the amphetamines since his eyes were no longer their regular size and was stuffing his face with cheese puffs, clearly evident from the cheese puffs stains around his mouth, and he was driving down the road at an alarming speed like a madman. Steve was holding on tight to his seat for dear life with one hand and he had a tight grip on Klaus's bowl in the other so the fish wouldn't be sent flying around, and he had also taken the precaution of having his seatbelt on so he would be safe if they happened to get into an accident. As Roger ran his finger across his forehead, leaving a cheese puff trail on it, Steve knew that he couldn't keep his mouth shut any longer.

"Legs! Please! Ju-just pull over!" Steve cried, with an expression of worry showing on his face; at the rate that Roger was going, he wasn't certain of how far they would be to go before something terrible happened. However, it seemed that Roger wasn't in his regular state of mind any longer, if he had one, as he turned his glance to Steve and it was clear to see just how out of it he was.

"Why are you calling me Legs?! Is there something wrong with my legs?! Is th… is that why there's a wheelchair in the car?" Roger blurted, gesturing an arm towards the wheelchair in the backseat before grabbing hold of the steering wheel again as he seemed to be lost in his own world as a result of his over dosage. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY LEGS, YOU NAZI WALRUS BASTARD!?" Roger yelled, slamming one fist against the steering wheel in a state of panic.

From Roger's point of view, it was safe to say the amphetamines had quite an effect on his perspective of the world around him: the trees that were along the sides of the road they had been driving down and the clear blue sky had been replaced by rocky structures that were a deep blue and the sky was now a dark pink along with a couple of planets instead of the sun, and Steve had been replaced by a large walrus dressed in a Nazi uniform and Klaus could now be seen as Garfield stuffed into the bowl. It seemed that Steve wasn't the only one who was getting a bit concerned about Roger's state of mind, since Klaus then spoke up. "Steve, who is he talking to?" he asked as he and Steve turned their glances to each other.

"Shut up, Garfield!" Roger snapped in response, prompting Steve and Klaus to immediately turn their glances back to him as he was still rambling. "Wh-wh-why do you… why do you hate Mondays? You don't even work!" Roger continued, before he grabbed a few cheese puffs in his hand and tossed them at the two.

Steve could only stare in worry at the way the situation was heading; things were only going to get worse before they got better.


End file.
